Are you feeling down? Have you lost all hope? Ready to let go? Do not.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Sure it's been said too many times it had become cliche already. But I'm just realizing what it really means.

Who would've thought I'll find solace in a disgustingly bad novelty song?

As a backgrounder, let me just tell you, for the past few weeks or even months, I've lost hope. I feel I'm in a deep pit of sorrow for reasons I still can't fathom. It was one of the darkest times of my life -- as if my nightmares have escaped into my waking hours.

Until I heard The Song.

It was a song of hope, of living life to the fullest, of never giving up.

It was the legendary phoenix' tears which revives you in your weakest state.

It was a breath of fresh air for one who's trapped in a dark and solitary cave.

"May Asim, May Asim Pa!" sings the old wrinkly hag, on the tip of the plank but still fighting on.

"May Asim, May Ibubuga Pa!", sings the seemingly defeated but surprisingly sturdy woman.

You've heard this song-- a novelty anthem by Madame Auring that still managed to reach the airstream despite the widespread protests of many.

I implore you, take comfort in this song. If you feel like letting go, don't. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Madame Auring saw this light and she has lived it by heart. So why can't you?


====================================================================

(Check out the full lyrics and a picture below.)
(Not suitable to the faint-hearted)










Ako'y maganda pa rin
Mabango, kaakit akit
Mga pogi at mga macho
Lokong loko sa alindog ko
Ang sex appeal nitong lola niyo
May asim pa naman ako

May asim (may asim)
May asim pa (may asim pa)
May asim (may asim)
May ibubuga pa (may ibubuga pa)
May asim (may asim)
May asim pa (may asim pa)
May asim (may asim)
May ibubuga pa (may ibubuga pa)

Ako, si Madame Auring
Mabango, kaakit akit
Mga gwapo at mga lolo
Lokong loko sa alindog ko
Ang sex appeal nitong lola niyo
May asim pa naman ako

May asim (may asim)
May asim pa (may asim pa)
May asim (may asim)
May ibubuga pa (may ibubuga pa)
May asim (may asim)
May asim pa (may asim pa)
May asim (may asim)
May ibubuga pa (may ibubuga pa)

May asim pa naman akooohhh...

During my pre-adolescent age, I was a very meek teen. I never stand on my own. I never went into a fight. I never spoke any bad words against other people. I was always the underdog.

I seldom encounter any conflict as I always try to avoid them. And If I do encounter one, I either run away with my tail between my legs or I succumb to the ground defeated.

Things changed when I reached an older age. I have to face people. I have to face challenges. But knowing myself, I know I can't beat any.

I tried many things to overcome my weakness. I went into learning martial arts. I tried shooting guns, extreme sports but I was still weak.

In my lowest state of defeat, while I was walking home one night, I pass upon a dark street. Something pulled me into walking farther in. So I walked on. In the end of the almost endless alleyway, I saw an ominous signpost telling me that it is some kind of gym-spa. It seems to tell me to come inside and I can't seem to decline. On each side of the entrance, two large, muscular men stand unmovable like stone statues.

As I open the door I felt a cold sensation on my spine, as if I'm a pig entering a slaughterhouse. I walk slowly into the dark hallway. On the walls, there hang pictures of notable artists. There were pictures of Mon Confiado, Allen Dizon, DJ Durano, Dennis Roldan and other esteemed celebrities. As I reach the makeshift reception table, a low, coarse voice told me to enter a room.

I entered the nearest room on my left. It was dimly lit. In my fear or panic, I misstep on the creaky floor and I dropped the key that I'm holding. I bent down to pick it up.



…



I don't know what happened next. I blacked out.

When I got my senses back I was already walking out the main door. It was already morning.

At that moment, I felt I have changed. I am a different person. I feel very strong. I feel brave enough to crush anyone on my path. I was overflowing with confidence.

That's how I gained my trust and belief in myself. That's when I decided to become an artist.

I'll never forget that day.

I have a confession to make. Back when I was young and impulsive I did something very embarrassing that I just want to forget. But I don't think I will cover that dark past forever especially now that I am on my path to fame.

I want to emphasize that I want to forget this past completely. I'm not proud I did it. I am deeply embarrassed down to my bones. I even sometimes have a nightmare of it when I'm asleep.

I am telling you this because I want it to come directly from me. I don't want others to tell it and then embellish it with other things. I'll tell you this in its pure, unadulterated form, as they say.

I had a relationship with a now-famous, old celebrity fortune-teller. Yes, that's right. I won't tell her name but you probably know her anyway.

I was foolhardy then, and I was desperate for fame and I'll do everything to get it. I met the old fortune-teller (let's call her Madame A. for brevity) in a bar in Malate. She was with some guys and gays. I waited until she was alone. When I had a chance, I bought a drink for her and started flirting with her. The rest is history.

We did a lot of things together; sweet nothings like me buying a sarong for her in Boracay, or removing a flake in her scalp. Or her letting me lie on her lap or pinching my "singit" when I'm naughty.

Soon, she started to bring me to her shows; Jamboree guestings, company parties or carnival performances. She never brought me to any TV appearances because she's not that famous yet back then.

Anyway, the bad thing is, I did all those things for show. I was using her to make me famous. I hope she will forgive me after all this. I'm not proud I did it.

To you, Madame A, I wish you luck on your career and may you find true love.


==============================
Anyways, I found this video in the internet. It brought back a lot of memories-- bad memories. Enjoy! (If you can.)

Please watch out for the launching of my album. It has 14 original compositions by yours truly plus a few hidden tracks, probably covers of some old songs. It is produced by an independent music label named Aspalto Records.

It will probably be released next month. I'll just update you on the details on the next few days. See ya!


..

This week I spent my vacation in Boracay. A lot happened during my stay. I witnessed the fiasco between the Bb. Pilipinas-World Danielle Castaño and a local resident. Well, not really witnessed, I just saw the aftermath but I managed to smell Castano's fragrant perfume.

Also during the week, I 'witnessed' another chorva, this time involving two sexbomb dancers, Aifah and Rochelle. Again, I did not see what really happened but I was close enough. I even touched Rochelle's sarong.

Just yesterday, I was soaping my body in the foaming Boracay waters under the moon and guess who I saw. The Madrigal sisters! I even shook the hand of the younger sister and pecked the check of the older. How cool is that.

That's all of my celebrity sightings report ladies and gentlemen. I just regret not seeing any talent scouts or getting seen by the press there. It could have been my time to shine.

If you want total entertainment, you should go to cosplays. And by entertainment I don't mean the wholesome fun one. I mean entertainment such that you will find hilarity and stupidity of the human race all packed into one venue.

Have you ever gone to free concerts where a multitude of youth in black garbs - orcs, black shirts, jologs, call them what you want - they all gather in the concert as if a secret beacon sends a secret transmission to all of them to gather at that specific location. It's funny, right?

Well, in cosplays, you will find the same kind of people but instead of jologs from squatters, these are rich kidz in well-spent on clothes.

Cases in point:

1. In our province, there is a device used to catch fish in shallow waters. We call those, saklub. This one guy (Cosplayer 1) has a saklub for his headpiece!
























2. This girl (Cosplayer 2) has her hair made up of seaweeds!!! And this is what her parents struggle to earn money for.
























3. Lastly, here is a fag in authentic fag clothing (Cosplayer 3). Say what you want in defense, but dude, that is so gay.
























(Disclaimer: This pictures are not mine. I found it in flicker: treasure cove of the internet)

I went to my cousin Albert's birthday bash a few days ago in Pangasinan. I've never been in the province for quite a while now so this event is so refreshing for me. Many things have change since the last time I went here. Albert is already married, can you believe that!

We had a few drinks and a lot of food and a lot more fun. I'm looking forward to my next vacation there. I want to share this slice of my life because this cousin of mine is the one who encouraged me to pursue my career as an artist. He is the first one who believed in me.











Old friends' reunited.












I don't know this guy.












Picture perfect couple.












Food! Food! Food!












One sweet couple.

These are not my thoughts. These are just representations, in the forms of letters and words, of what I am thinking at the moment.

As such, this will reflect all my adventures and misadventures, my fortunes and misfortunes and what not.

More specifically, this will document my struggles as I move myself higher up in my career as an artist.

Watch out for my journeys. And help me please, if you can.